Just when you thought you'd seen it all, you suddenly spot a man in mullet couture.  Pink fuzzy slippers, satin black robe, sweat band, chester the molester moustache, and to top it off, his bff is dressed in similar fashion.  Saturday night, I had the pleasure of witnessing such shenanigans down at the PJ Pub Crawl which toured downtown, visiting spots such as: Slingapours, Zinc Bar and Dragon Room.  Everyone was having fun, and everyone was wasted....we saw sexy Finnish mama's and barely clothed papas, and if this mom and pop comparison is disturbing, you haven't seen what was under the robe of one of the crawlers....shudder.  Very inexpensive, and very easy to attend!  Just add the Pub Crawl as your friend on MySpace, and they'll keep you updated on future crawls!  Au Revoir!

If you know me at all, then you know that I am not one known to frequent country western type bars/clubs, but after Saturday night, I think that may just have to change!  Jared and I headed to Jesse Black's Saloon, which is all the way past Michigan, just off of Orange Ave on Oakridge.  So it's off the beaten path, but to this Wall Street junkie, it was a refreshing dip into the pool of the alternative and unknown.  I was not prepared for just how many people would be there!  Apparently it was $10 all you can drink, so it was PACKED.  Maybe I'm overestimating, but it felt like a billion people were there....or a thousand, but whatever the number, it was a lot.  Because Jesse Black's is so spacious though, you were never thrown to the ground and trampled, which could be a fear of those who hate crowds....or not....in any event, if you felt claustrophobic, you could always just step out back to the outside bar and...my favorite, BBQ shack.  Well I'm sure they don't call it a shack, but that is exactly what it was.  I savored some of their fried pickles, which were purchased for me by a nice young man who bought them with the condition that I first spank his ass...of course I happily obliged.  While there, I learned a great many things that as a "Yankee" I had not previously known:  Suggesting "doing it in a swamp" is a way to pick up a redneck; chewing tobacco is a staple among the Southern community; cowboy hats are plentiful, and when asked to borrow theirs, a common answer is "Hell no"; Southern gentleman occur more frequently than they do downtown; Country lovers will line dance to hip hop; as a girl, drinking a cold, bottled Bud is a cool thing to do; it's not gay if guns are present (Okay, I stole that from American Dad, but I'm pretty sure it applies); and finally, a pulled pork sandwich is JUST THE THING to prevent a hangover from occuring the next day....and conveniently enough, they are easily obtained from the BBQ shack mentioned earlier. (Thank-you Amy for letting me in on that secret!! Still waiting to find out how you're 79 years old????  Maybe pulled pork is the secret to eternal youth as well????  The world may never know) In conclusion:  Jesse Black's is an excellent way to get out of the downtown rut, even if you don't think you'd enjoy that scene, there is more than enough alcohol, bbq, and attractive people to keep you occupied and enjoying yourself.  I give it 2 very enthusiastic thumbs up!!  Make sure to check out the O-Lens Live video and photos and see if we captured you on film!

As we all know, The Fast and The Furious trilogy has left its mark as one of the best pieces of cinematic artistry in recent memory.  The dialogue alone is complete genius but to also possess such a complex story with originality and heart, well no wonder it was the tire screech heard around the world when Vin Diesel was robbed of the Academy Award...

As an owner of the complete box set including the extremely sought after director's cut, I was lucky enough to attend Orlando's version of this important fiber glass structured, truck dodging, silicone injected movement called, HOT IMPORT NIGHTS, baby!

All jokes aside, this event was pretty major.  I ran into the arms of my partner in crime, Chazz, because I knew the two of us together would definitely raise some hell.  And that, my friends, is exactly what we did... 

As we finagled ourselves into XM Satellite's VIP room due to Chazz's impeccable charm, she somehow made her way onstage to compete for a free XM radio.  Although she didn't win, homegirl gave mad props to the OCB crew while the world watched in amazement at the Amazonian queen that stood above them.

After our moment in the sun we had to get to work.  And by that I mean making belligerent conversation with car dudes, Duvall County DJ's and car models with cleavage that could pop out of a turtle neck. I started to feel the wear and tear of the strobe lights on my brain cavity but thanks to the automobile gods, ROCK STAR was giving out beverages.  At this point it's me and Chazz all hocked up on free energy drinks running rampant in a facility full of about a billion dollars worth of transportation.  Lynx, baby, you needs to invest in some 48" rims, candy paint and re-think the hot neon lights on yo' buildin'.

Highlight of the evening: Getting the five finger slap from the Ying Yang Twins and shootin' the shit with Orlando's own Smilez and Southstar for Enginehead.

Later on Chazz tagged Marquis in and homie and I finished up the evening with some mad crazy O-Lens videography.  I also had the pleasure to work with Enginehead and interview some car club members and their posse.  My fav. has to be Jade-- my name is Kitty, "Puurrrrrrr!"  You guys are crazy. 

The rest of you go check out the O-lens video to fully comprehend the truth about the rigorous standards girls have to go through to be a car model.  Oh, and don't forget to visit Enginehead to see my interview which explains why car clubs aren't just about the tricked out rides, but a family affair as well.

-Jordie

Last Thursday night I went to Roxy to check out Matty Dub's Bday Party. As usual... everyone was dressed to impress. The club was packed & ready to party.
DJ Jonny Quest from Chicago was onhand & represented the windy city well. I enjoyed talking to everybody, taking some pictures, shooting the O-LENS video on "cheesey pick up lines" & of course... passing out the infamous green stickers. There was also a Champagne toast at midnight. I'm sure that Matty enjoyed the bday considering all of the pretty ladies in attendance. Please check out the pics on OCB if you haven't already.

Club Roxy